Closing the Box

Iron Man Dwarf, Sahuagin, and a Bag of Dicks

Session 10

The individual waiting at Trolanport when we got off the airship was a half-orc who Rupert didn’t trust a bit to begin with. Meteors began to fall from the sky and the half-orc seemed likely to bolt, so Rupert told Doru/Durriken to grab him. Turns out the half-orc was a changeling in disguise.

More meteorites hit the airship port, and out onto the dock we were standing on charges four dwarves wearing copper rings on each of their fingers. On a different dock significantly higher than us but off of a different airship port appeared Vag as Iron Man and two spiky golems of spiky spikiness. Our airship was parked facing this other airship port. This is important later. Fortunately Vag and the spikesters were far enough away that they didn’t seem to be much of a threat initially. Vag shouted something in dwarf and only Durriken seemed to understand it.

Lorelei snuck out to the bow of the airship and threw a zombie shaped object onto the dock where Vag and the spikesters were, while the rest of us try to take out the bad guys on our dock. The zombies ultimately manage to knock the spikesters off the dock, where they hang just by their own arm strength.

One of the copper-ringed dwarves clearly failed out of fight school and threw his brass knuckles at Doru’s head. He died soon after, probably from an overdose of stupid pills.

Zikali then breaks a vial and one of the spiky golems is teleported from hanging off the side of the other dock, to our dock where he is immediately engaged by Durriken. (Still so sorry guys…)

Things don’t look too good for a few moments, until both Doru and Durriken clearly have had enough. Durriken smashes the remaining three copper-ringed dwarf assholes in one great cleave, and Doru slices the spiky golem in half vertically.

Lorelei had instructed the crew to ram our airship into the dock that Vag and the remaining spiky golem stood on, and the airship did just that, “killing” the spiky golem, Vag, and the remaining zombies.

Did I mention this entire time that meteorites are falling and hitting the airship ports? They were. We decide to amscray. Unfortunately there is only one feather-fall parachute/life raft thing left in the airship, that will hold up to 4 people. Zikali insists she can fly, but no one believes her. Even after she says she’s done it before. The party tries to think of an alternate solution for getting down and Zikali, certain of her abilities, jumps off the side of the dock.

The party lands in an alley and soon after Zikali crash-lands nearby. She points out that she said she could fly, but never mentioned her landing skills.

Immediately after, a familiar looking half-orc greets us. Lorelei gets rather gropey on his arm to figure out if he’s a changeling or not. He’s not, but he is a little confused by her.

He introduces himself as Yatubash, a “friend of a friend” and takes us into the basement of a butcher shop where he gives us our choice of many, many shinies. He also has a present for Zikali: a jar of frogs and a letter from the shaman who raised the frogs for her.

As Zikali reads the letter, she becomes more and more horrified, ultimately digging in her pack frantically for a bag. She explains to the party that unfortunately due to shamanistic hijinks, she accidentally kidnapped the mojo and virility of the entire tribe’s male population. Since then, she has carried around a bag of spectral dicks. She tries to show it to the entire party, but since their spirits are not in tune with the greater spirit world, they cannot see the dicks in the bag. Zikali makes Yatubash promise that he will ensure that the bag of dicks is delivered back to the shaman of the tribe as swiftly as possible.

We get on a ship headed to Kapaerian Island. On the way, we stop in Shargon’s Teeth to and bring on an Aerenal elf who is a negotiator for the Sahuagin with many fish themed tattoos. He ensures safe passage for us through Shargon’s Teeth. We stop in Stormreach as well and bid farewell to the bag of dicks.

Upon nearing Kapaerian Island, a small group of Sahuagin met us on the boat. After a few rough starts with communicating, we discover that Durriken apparently speaks Sahuagin (and our Sahuagin negotiator, the Aerenal elf, doesn’t). The elf tries to translate their conversation for us but we end up telling him to shut up because none of it is making sense.

According to Durriken, we need to fetch pearls so that we purify ourselves before we meet with the priests of the Devourer at the temple.

Notable quotes:
“Did you feed the dog?”
“Bag of holding of Goblin babies”
“I can read. Probably.”
“We’ve got to get this bag of dicks back to their rightful owners, man.”
“Maybe this is why you keep stealing penises and teleporting kill golems.”

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